17 November 2007

Holiday Intervention

I think, this year, when I'm home for the holidays, I might ask the cute-guy-two-doors-down out for coffee or lunch or something. We haven't really talked since we were kids. We know each other in passing, enough to say hi, but not enough to keep in touch (at all).

It's probably silly, and a little insane. And he might not even be home for the hols, but I just want to have a chance to hang out with him. How silly is that?

Insane?

Sweet?

Any opinions, readers?

Perhaps this is a way to distract me from current issues. And who knows? Maybe he and I will have stuff in common.

14 November 2007

Infuriated

So, I'm reading along on one of my new-fave blogs (The Brit Girl) and I come across her posts on an article entitled "That Was No 'Accident'."

A few things came to mind while reading this article. 1. Holy fuck. Women need to get over themselves. 2. One of my favorite shows, Coupling, deals with a woman trying for a baby without letting her long-term boyfriend know. (Granted, he doesn't seem upset by the idea, he just didn't know they were trying.)

But this passage really ticked me off.

"A lot of us feel like it's not even really fair that men should get to vote, considering they could be 72 and, with a little Viagra, have another baby," says Vicki Iovine, author of The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy. "For us women, it's really a limited window. We know that boys who grow up to become men don't necessarily want to be men. They like to be boys. And so women say, 'You know what? He's gonna just have to snap out of it—and my pregnancy will be the thing to do it.'" The end, says Iovine, sometimes justifies the means. "Any guy with a heart and soul, and preferably with a job, once he sees the baby on the sonogram or hears the heartbeat, will melt," she says.


Say WHAT?

While it's not rape, in many ways, it's got a lot of the same power-play and manipulation aspects. (Oh, I'm gonna be flamed for that statement!) It's the woman saying, "It's all about what *I* want, what *you* want doesn't matter."

How many women would flip their shit if their SO had that attitude? Actually, let me rewind and address that passage piece by piece.

"A lot of us feel like it's not even really fair that men should get to vote, considering they could be 72 and, with a little Viagra, have another baby," says Vicki Iovine, author of The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy.
Where to start with what's wrong with that statement. Okay, if you're going to "oops" a guy, or more directly, trick and manipulate him into a pregnancy, you are (according to most US laws) requiring him to conribute to the financial upkeep of the child (that he may or may not have wanted, but you didn't bother talking to the man) for 18 to 21 to 25 years.

As for the "72 and with a little Viagra..." statement, then go find a man who's 72 and has some Viagra. If that's the age that the man wants to become a father. Or, better yet, go to a sperm bank.

For us women, it's really a limited window. We know that boys who grow
up to become men don't necessarily want to be men. They like to be
boys. And so women say, 'You know what? He's gonna just have to snap
out of it—and my pregnancy will be the thing to do it.'"
Okay, yes. Women are biologically fertile for a shorter time than men are. While this must be frustrating to some women, perhaps the reality is not the duration of fertility, but the maturity of men. Blame the previous generation for raising males who are not fully-formed emotionally by adulthood. "Forcing" a man to grow up is dumb, cruel, and, to be quite honest, damaging. How many men that have been oopsed are hesitant to ever fully trust a woman again? You women that are complaining how there are no good men? Blame the permissive "sisterhood" that some of you seem to rally around. Good men are out there, but apparently there's a trick to finding them prior to another woman doing a number on them. (Okay, perhaps I'm single-bitter, but honestly? I'm tired of hearing how decent guys are screwed over by needy women.)

If you want a man, date a man. Don't date a boy.

The end, says Iovine, sometimes justifies the means. "Any guy with a
heart and soul, and preferably with a job, once he sees the baby on the
sonogram or hears the heartbeat, will melt," she says.

Really? So, a guy who absolutely does not want children is heartless and soulless? Or it's okay if the guy is on the fence and gets "nudged" (their words, sure as hell not mine) if he has a job, because then it's great that he falls in love with the little tadpole? What happens if the guy doesn't change his mind? Well, that's okay, because he's still on the hook as far as financial support goes. I mean, that's all that really matters, isn't it?


In the interest of full disclosure, I'm on the fence leaning toward no on the kids front. I cannot see myself being pregnant or ever having kids. I'm not getting sterilized yet because I'm not 100% against having kids, I just can't see it at this point in my life. The one thing I'm fully aware of is that the only constant in life is change. I am, however, looking into an IUD. 10 years of birth control without having to worry about taking it at the same time every day or whatnot is nice. Add into that the double-duty aspect of IUD + Condom = no unintended visitors.

I guess what I really don't understand is two things.

1. Why don't these women communicate with their partners? Of course, the idea of the answer being "no" sucks, but better to realize that your partner isn't the right person for you than to trap them (and yourself) into a relationship that they didn't want.
2. Why don't these women find men that want what they want? Life is so much easier with someone that's walking down the same path as you. And honestly? It's easier still to walk alone than it is to walk with someone that's not on the same path as you.


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13 November 2007

Bad taste knitting joke... I loved it.

Three women were in the waiting room of a gynocologist, and each of them was knitting a sweater for their baby-to-be. The first one stopped and took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked her. "Oh, it was Vitamin C - I want my baby to be healthy." A few minutes later, another woman took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked. "Oh, it was iron - I want my baby to be big and strong." They continued knitting. Finally the third woman took a pill. "What was that?" the others asked her. "It was thalidomide," she said, "I just can't get the arms right on this sweater!"

10 November 2007

T-minus 6 months

I love traveling. I really do. I hate packing and flying places, but I like it when I'm there.

Even though my trip to the UK is going to be very backpacker, but I'm not 20 anymore and there's only so much of the hostel adventure that I can take without some level of luxury. Time to toss out the ol' link list again.

  • I need to find my backpack from my Australia trip. I'm pretty sure it's at the paternal household.
  • Dream Sack - a good alternative or solution for the sheets in the hostel. The last thing I need while traveling is an allergic reaction to washing powder.
  • GorillaPod - this will allow me to take decent photos (in theory) without having to haul around a seperate proper tripod.
  • Eye shades. I *wish* I had these when I was in Sydney. Great for naps and those annoying early morning risers that turn on the lights.
  • Compressable pillow. Again, allergic reactions bad. And I can also sleep with this pillow for a week or two before I travel and see if it'll work for me.
  • Luggage handle wraps. Jesus, people. I would love to see a choice other than black, red, or FLORAL! print. Until that happens, I need to attempt to identify my black luggage among all the other black luggage.
  • A neck pouch or a waist pouch for doing the traveling-money-thing.
  • I also need to get/find lightweight wrinkle-free clothing. Two pair of pants, a skirt or dress, and I'm sure other things.
And, in theory, I should be able to live on 3700 cubic inches for six weeks. Now I go make coffee and eat before I go insane.

05 November 2007

Happy Guy Fawkes Day!

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent
To blow up King and Parli'ment.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England's overthrow;
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
Though, I prefer V for Vendetta. But happy Guy Fawkes Day, nonetheless!

02 November 2007

But this isn't porn!

Ahh, so much today and not a lot dealing with education in particular.

Went to class today. Spoke with the wife of my professor (who also teaches at the university) after class to talk about something "personal-professional" - yes, I was deliberately vague because it was not a private forum, and I really didn't need the older guys stepping in and telling me I was being dumb. I sent Wife-Professor an email explaining what I wanted to talk about when we met in a week and a half.

What it really boils down to is that I'm nearing 30 and while my biological clock isn't ticking loudly at the moment, I'm a little concerned with what choosing this profession means in relation to raising children. And while I'm sure I could speak with other professors in the department about it, the vast majority of those that I know have children are men, and it's a bit of a different investment level for them.

While it may seem like a strange thing to be concerned over, especially because I really don't intend to have children, I'm not taking them off the table. I hope that Wife-Professor will see it as a thoughtful question and concern about my future-professional and future-private life. We'll see what happens when I meet with her in a bit.

When I got home from class, I saw my music neighbor and thanked him for letting me know about his performance, gushed about his voice, and engaged in a general chat. He asked me what I was reading and immediately hid it behind my back, saying "I'm hesitant to show you because it's basically historical porn." Then I handed him The Last Templar, and he flipped through it, trying to figure out where the porn was. I then explained the concept of 'historical porn' and realized that no matter how cute he is or how wonderful his voice is, he's not one of those that groks history, and so the lusting comes to a close. Plus, he's four years younger than me, and with few exceptions, there's something that happens after the mid-twenties hump that just adds something to the life experience. I think he'll just stay a casual chatting acquaintance.

I have papers to work on, and my classmates are all going a little insane because they can't sort out how to approach the topics. I have my ideas, and I'm not sharing because, while I've shared factual information, I see no reason to present my methods to them. Oh, and my university had implemented this thing where we have to pay per print. It's cheaper (frighteningly enough) for me to print out at home. I'm a little disappointed. Ah, well.

And now I'm going to finish catching up on my TV watching before I start cranking in on my reading for the journals.

This is my life.

01 November 2007

Hee!

In the privacy of my own home (and occasionally out on the patio), I've been reading The Last Templar by Raymond Khoury. So far, he's come up with two wonderful quotes about my profession.

"...But you know how it is with the Templars. It's like archaeological porn, it's virtually academic suicide to be interested in them. It's gotten to the point where no one wants it known that they take the subject seriously. Too many crackpots obsessed with all kinds of conspiracy theories about their history. You know what Umberto Eco said, right?
"'A sure sign of a lunatic is that sooner or later, he brings up the Templars.'"1

And then there was...

"He's a history professor, for God's sake. They're supposed to be mild-mannered, pipe-smoking introverts, not -"
"Psychos?"2

Maybe it's one of those things that you have to be a historian, or have a love of history, to understand, but my, those two quotes have made me giggle so far.

1Raymond Khoury The Last Templar (New York, Signet, 2005), 75.
2Ibid, 206.