Because of my own marvelous ability to injure myself, I had to switch out my nose screw for a hoop today. Only problem was, the bloody thing wouldn't play nice and go in smoothly, so I went to the piercing and tattoo shop near my house.
The owner gave me a hard time because I begged him to let me in before hours so I could pick up this hoop. Told me that if I needed help with the capture bead, to come back and he'd put it in after he opened. Needless to say that the owner gave me a bit of a hard time, mocking me. I explained to him that I did know how to insert a simple hoop, but it apparently wasn't understanding its role in the entire situation.
So I wander in there, asking for help again. Different guy starts going to work on placing the piercing only to find that there's something strange going on with the back (inside the nose) side of the piercing. The back of the piercing is either closed up, smaller than the entry, or has blown. So he pulls a taper out of the autoclave wrap and tells me "it's not a needle, it's a taper."
That's not what my brain thought it was. My brain went to tapir. Different thing entirely. In fact, it's one of these:
It took me a few seconds to explain to my brain that it would be impossible for a tapir to perform the same use as a taper.
Yeah, it was that kind of special day.