You know the girl who has the lovely luck of being in a bar, having a conversation with a good friend about anything and is speaking loudly to be heard over the music, and then, right as the music stops, she loudly shares something like "...and then they cut away part of my cervix!"
Yep, I'm that girl.
Case in point.
Once a week, my department has a lunch that one person makes and the rest of us partake in the consuming. (The cook rotates among the department members.) Anywho. So we're having a conversation, and I playfully make a death threat on a person with a high metabolism. The topic then goes to weight loss methods. One of the ladies comments that she lost weight with each child. I state that's not my preferred method of weight loss, thanks.
Then another person who knows I don't have a flaming desire to get knocked up comments that I'm slightly anti-child.
I respond by saying, "I don't dislike children, I just want a sign that says..." cue the silence... "'condemned, do not occupy' on my uterus."
Many pairs of eyes swivel towards me.
At least I didn't use my new favorite euphemism for cramping during my period, thanks to SavageCats...
"Midgets are ice skating on my uterus."