06 October 2006

Losing faith in humanity, one day at a time.

As many of you can see by my link list, I'm fond of Teacher Lady and her blog, Sex Ed in Higher Ed.

Recently, she made two posts that just, well, made my non-existant baby Jesus cry.

The first was "Have we come a long way, baby?" where she recounts the lack of anything smacking of feminism, as she refers to it. Personally, I think it's the lack of young women doing anything that resembles being assertive in their lives.

Case in point:

But (feminist glasses back on) - aren't these young women acting in some ways like, I don't know? Administrative assistants? Mothers? Whether these young men are just lazy, clueless, helpless or all of the above, why did they choose women to step into these roles? Or perhaps the women volunteered - I don't know. But my hunch is that the second time Johnny Student turned to the male seated next to him and said, "Dude, can you hook me up with some paper and a pen?" that "Dude" would have told him to go to hell. Or the nearest Office Max. And Sporto would not have dreamed of asking a guy to hang on to his little slip of paper so he didn't lose it. I'm guessing.

So, I'm curious - although I realize I may be "pole vaulting over mouse turds" as an old boss liked to say when we got obsessed with minuatae, what do you think? No big deal? Or sign of the "Backlash" Susan Faludi warned us about 15+ years ago? Or something in between?

I've seen a number of women in this area of the country being extremely co-dependent. I'm not sure if it's the culture here or if this is the development of young women today. Whatever happened to "I am woman, hear me roar"?

Unfortunately, I am not immune. Get me into a new relationship with some decent sex happening and I run the high risk of turning into a co-dependent sex kitten. Or at least that's what looking at my past would lead you to believe. However, there are still limits and lines that you just don't cross. Does the 17-22 female demographic revel in the fact that they will roll over like submissive puppies for the attention of a guy?
Listening to the 'women' around the campus that I teach at, the answer seems to be a resounding 'yes.' Apparently, having a ma-yun makes you complete. Important. Whatever. He beats you? Bitch to your friends in the middle of the mall (walking, not shopping), but be sure to mention how much you love him and that you know how sorry he is for beating you. And it's okay, because he doesn't beat your two kids from three different fathers... if you even know who sired your brood at all.
He cheats? Explain it away because 'men have needs' and 'it's okay because he always comes home.' And I used to scratch my head in wonder as to why men would cheat. Now, I just realize that they watch how women in their demographic respond and get the clear impression that they can fuck anyone they want, spreading their seed (and other biohazards) just so long as they 'come home.'
He belittles you in front of all and sundry? Shit, hon, that's fine. You just tell me how he treats you so well when no one else is watching. That makes everything better.

I used to lament at being single. Oh, woe is me. And there are occasions where I get a little pissy because there are aspects of life that would be easier with the right person to be there in my corner. But after listening to the news about yet another person shooting/beating/running over their SO... Viva la single life! It's not harder being a single. Hell, given my interesting history with Those That Should Not Have Been Chosen (aka 'the exes'), it's a lot easier being single. But it seems like the majority of young women are terrified of being alone because it makes them less of a person.

To you ladies, I say this. Get a job. Get a life. Get some fucking self-worth. (Self-esteem is different, though it might help, too.) Learn to accept yourself before moving on to someone else. And for the love of god, live on your own between living with the parents and living with a SO. PLEASE!

I regret to admit that I have no idea who Susan Faludi is past being a reference in someone else's blog. I'm not sure if this reality consitutes "Backlash," but it does strike me that a lot of the current generation is running away from reality, using their sex as an excuse. "I'm a mother/wife, that's a full time job!" Yes, it is, if done right. But because you found someone to sign paperwork and figured out how to spread your legs does not mean that you're done with personal, mental, emotional, spiritual, etc. growth. If you want to be a SAHM and you've worked your life out to where you can be, great! But don't think it gives you license to degrade into an amoeba on the couch, hoovering in the bonbons. Get off the couch and interact with your child, the world, pass on the importance of a good education, show your kid what it's like to care and be a decent human being. If you've introduced the next generation into the world, then your job and responsibility starts. Whether you 'wanna' or not.

... Enough ranting for one day, even for me. I'll address the next rant tomorrow.

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