Another fabulous day at Small State U.
I hear you now. "Fabulous? Adjunct Slave is saying 'fabulous'? Was there some massive head trauma sustained over the weekend?"
It was a fabulous day because I have to go reprimand a student for her use of colourful metaphors while in class.
Allow me to explain.
I was giving a lecture and the slide said "Check the documentation" - I figured this was an excellent time to introduce the class to the term "RTFM," you know, Read The Freaking Manual. I try to maintain a professional environment in my courses, I think I say "ass" and "crap" at my most colorful. So this student? She repeats, loudly, "READ THE FUCKING MANUAL?!"
"Uh, 'freaking' was the word I used, let's keep this class PG-13 at most, mmkay?"
Look. If I can't do my normal thing of swearing like a sailor who just had his grog stolen by a rabid rhesus monkey, then you can't either, savvy?
Not to mention that this ... individual... is remarkably likely to fail the course. On top of that, she is highly unemployable in the field that we're studying. I understand that when you're missing a great many teeth that situations may arise, but realize that you're grunting with each breath and DO SOMETHING to change it. When your classmates come to me and complain about it... Hell, I don't even know how to approach something like that... "Pardon me, could you, um, stop breathing? Just for the duration of class. Is that do-able for you? It would really help with not distracting your classmates. Thanks!"
At least I have three classes that I'm creating for the web at the lovely tune of $1500 for the creation part. Something I could do in my sleep.
...Haven't signed the contract to teach the second half of this course that I'm complaining about, so I may be all kinds of Dr. Evil and say 'fuckit' - especially if my plan of winning the lottery comes to fruition.
And Adjunct Slave deleted a comment from the previous post. Why? Well, even when I'm not being your lovely anonymous adjunct slave, I don't like having that many things about me out on the internet. Too many freaks out there, thankyouverymuch, so I deleted it for the commentor's privacy. Though as a sum-up from the deleted comment, do hit Komikazee if you're at all comic-geek inclined. Good stuff.
Now? Now it's time for me to curl up with a beloved beer and pretend that all of my students are well-behaved, understand the concepts of decent personal hygiene, intelligent, and thoughtful. Barring that, hopefully there's something great and reality-show-esque on TV so I can watch someone's hopes get dashed this week. Aside from mine, that is.