26 September 2006

And the hits keep coming...

We all know what's coming next, right? Yes. It's time for e-mail fun!

Dear Benevolent Dictator;

I am writing to introduce myself.

Really? Is that what this is about? We're in week 5. Don't you think it's a little late to be saying "hiya!"?

Im Cool But Late, originaly from Somewhere, ST, and I am meant to be taking your Western Civ class this term. I am XX years old, and have been working as a flight attendant for the last XX-19 years. This is the beginning of my attempt to go to school and complete my degree.

Is this a cultural thing endemic to this part of the country? Does your place of origin matter? Is it spiffy and cool like "I'm originally from Iceland!" or is it 45 minutes up the road and not much more impressive than the location of Small State U? Also, does your place of origin keep you from properly using punctuation marks?

You are meant to be taking my class? I'm not sure if this means I'm supposed to add you (which is unnecessary because if you're able to email me, you're able to access the course), or if it means you're trying to take the course. I'd suggest that you just take the course and see how it goes. As Yoda said, "do or do not. There is no 'try'."

Congrats. You've hit XX without being in a prison web course. And, you know, I really preferred the term 'stewardess' compared to 'flight attendant'. At least then my expectations were suitably lowered. And good for you for coming to Small State U Online to begin to finish your degree... Planning on taking any English courses?

Im glad to be doing so, but Ive been in the process of moving, which has been much more complicated than I expected, and I am now getting a very late start with your class.

You're happy. I'm happy. We're all happy! (The banister's happy!) Yes. Moving is a bitch. Moving cross country even more so. Hey, here's an idea. Move cross country, have a new course dropped in your lap and realize you're going to spend the rest of the semester winging it for that course. Honey, Murphy has set himself up in my guest bedroom... Life sucks. Get a helmet.

This is all new territory for me. I have never done much reading, and have never written a paper or done formal research. I am continuing to fly full time, and although im only taking one class it's still a little overwhelming for me. I am serious about what i am doing, though, and will do my best to continue forward. This week, Ive tried to do as much reading as possible to catch up quickly.

o/~Don't know much about his-to-ree.o/~ It's a 100 level course. If you're thinking there's formal research aside from my Nazi-esque requirement to use Chicago/Turabian citation... You're sorely mistaken. My online course is kinda like being in the National Guard, except you can't get sent over to Iraq. 6 hours a week. 16 weeks a year.

However, you are indeed light years ahead of your classmates. You see, you said the magic word. Read. Reading is impressive. It makes me happy. And for someone to put forth the effort... Makes a world of difference. Hell, I might even cut you some slack.

I finished Assignment X this morning, and am forwarding it to you now. I understand it may be late or even unacceptable, but id like to send it to you anyway for your thoughts.

A week past deadline is 'late'... Anything past that, I don't accept. However, since you're putting forth effort and said the magic word, I'll review it. I hope there's proper punctuation. Oh, and welcome to the slack.

I will get started on Assignment Y as soon as I get through a little more of the reading

Meh. Do you know what it means to me if you don't turn your assignments in on time? It means one less thing for me to grade. This makes your classmates happy because I don't critique like I'm an anorexic hippopotamus on crack.

I like your powerpoints : )

Oh my. Does this mean you're really *not* reading?

Thank you; Cool

You are ultimately welcome.
--Benevolent Dictator

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Murphy has set himself up in my guest bedroom... Life sucks. Get a helmet."

ahahahahahaha